I left Poland in August. The Polish government had decided I'd overstayed my welcome. The Italian visited me during my last week. She helped me move what little I'd accumulated into self-storage. We reminisced about our chance meeting one year back and our adventures since. We indulged in our favorite spots and in each other. As usual, her hormones made their presence felt; midweek, she stormed out of my apartment after a heated argument. I consoled her the following morning. On the final day, she spoke the three words no bachelor wants to hear. But to my surprise she followed it up by saying I didn't have to say the same and that she didn't want me to change my ways for her.
Despite our undeniable chemistry, I wasn't sure if or when we'd meet again, and that didn't seem to bother me. I was looking forward to visiting the States to catchup with friends and then India to catchup with family. I wasn't sure of my plans from December onwards, but I knew I wanted to stay in India to cut expenses. Somewhere low-key, where warm, untouched beaches would be a stone's throw away, and the network would be fast enough so I could work in the afternoons. I had heard good things about Kerala beaches from other travelers.
I kept in touch with the Italian via video calls once a week or so. During one call, I expressed my desire to explore Kerala and how cool it would be if we explored it together. There was a 5K race being held in Kochi in mid-December. I saw it as a good omen and a natural way to kick off the adventure.
She seemed enthusiastic, but I wasn't expecting much; she would have to get ample time off from work, purchase an expensive ticket, miss spending Christmas and New Year's with her family, apply for the visa which India does not make easy, etc... That didn't stop me from stroking her fantasies during our video calls... until she finally booked a ticket.
Kerala
I picked her up from the airport on a sports bike I'd rented a few days before. Like a good backpacker, she'd fitted everything into one rucksack. I had to take my praise back when I later discovered it was half-filled with beauty products.
We spent the next three weeks backpacking along the Malabar Coast while living together. It was the longest consecutive time I've spent with a woman since starting daygame. The longest we had spent together before this was a week and that was in the familiarity of Warsaw. Three weeks in a foreign place felt very different from that.
Firstly, lots of decisions had to be made from high-level things like what do we want to get out of the trip as a whole to mundane things like where we'd spend the night, where we should eat, what sights we should see, and how we would get from point A to B. Twice we arrived at a new town with nothing booked. Unsurprisingly, it fell on me to make most of these decisions while she played the support role. Even though decision fatigue got to me a few times, I generally enjoyed the responsibility and the rare challenge.
One time I asked her preference on something relatively unimportant. "Pick whatever you prefer," she snapped back. In the past, she had accused me of deciding things without asking her. When I called her out on her inconsistent behavior, she laughed. She said she wants to be involved in the decision-making process but she doesn't want the burden of deciding. It's a lesson that will stay with me.
Secondly, there were many times we had to adjust to each other. Both being slightly stubborn and set in our ways, the adjustment didn't always come easy. On more than one occasion, she was quick to throw in the towel and suggest we get separate rooms, partly because she didn't wish to be a burden. I could tell she was just over-reacting and probably testing my commitment. Other times, our differences presented an opportunity to display my thoughtfulness and creativity, which earned her appreciation. On one occasion, however, she was behaving like such a princess that I lost my patience and lashed out at her. Later, I felt like an asshole. These "fights" gave us a lot of practice in reconciliation, which generally involved a discussion, sex, and local Kerala food, not necessarily in that order.
The friction between us wasn't the only thing that made us more intimate. Three weeks of being stuck together in the same room also made it difficult to keep things private. Both of us faced stomach trouble at one point or another. We overheard each other talk to family members. We would see each other's incoming texts. Things we normally would do alone were done in each other's presence.
Me being intensely private, this took some getting used to. I had to proactively carve out time for myself. I would announce my intention to her in advance. Then I'd venture off to workout, read by the sea, or catchup on work. Sometimes she made it difficult, and I had to be firm. I knew that taking care of my ship first would keep my mind from drifting off when I was with her.
Last but not least, three weeks gave us ample time under the sheets. We got much better and getting each other to climax. I was also surprised to learn that I was doing some things before which she didn't find pleasurable but was too reluctant to voice. More importantly, I got a better sense of what regular sex feels like with someone I deeply care about. I found it to be defined more by intimacy and playfulness rather than excitement and novelty. It was addictive but not for the reasons I expected.
Being with her didn't prevent me from covertly checking out other girls when we were out. Even though she hasn't put any restrictions on me, my behavior bothered me. I wished I could exercise more restraint and truly enjoy every moment with her. One side-effect of doing game is that every cute girl starts looking like a possibility. In response to this inner battle, I spent part of the trip flipping through Mahatma Gandhi's autobiography, giving particular attention to his chapters on brahmacharya, celibacy, fasting, and controlling the carnal senses.
Traveling in India is cheap. Since she had to fly in from Italy, I suggested we split expenses roughly 60-40. She appreciated the gesture. The one exception to this was when she drove our rented scooter into a wall while I was teacher her how to ride it. Otherwise, a satisfying dinner for two ranged from $3 to $15 depending on how fancy we wanted to get. Per night costs for a room in a homestay averaged $20. Train and cab rides between cities was also $10 to $15. She also received 20% discounts off shopping by having me haggle for her, a service I made sure I was rewarded for in other ways.
When and where will our paths cross next? I don't know. I want her in my life and I want to keep having more experiences with different women. I don't want to have to pick between the two. Luckily, that day hasn't come. And until then, life continues as usual.
2025 Resolutions
- Make first sale in an EU business
- See an F1 race in person
- Don't work after 6pm
- Keep approaching women