Aside from spending a few nights with the yoga girl I laid last year in India, my time in India has been void of girls and intentionally so. I've taken the time to catchup with friends / family, attend some weddings and celebrations (it's an auspicious time of the year for that... and a priest's most lucrative), knockout some work goals, and mentally get ready for another year of solo travel in Europe.
When I re-engaged the yoga girl on WhatsApp after not keeping in touch for almost a year, I wasn't expecting anything to happen. To my surprise, she offered to let me crash at hers for five nights in Bangalore. Fond memories of banging her doggystyle made it a no brainer for me to accept her invitation to what I imagined would be a glorious week of nonstop sex.
However, when we met for dinner on the first night, she was visibly chubbier and I didn’t find her as physically attractive as I did a year ago. Yoga had taken a backseat in her life to make room for grad school. The sex didn’t live up to my hopes. I considered leaving the following morning and booking a last minute AirBnb, but I stuck it out all five nights.
I'm glad I did. Not only did we share some memorable experiences outside of the sex but I also discovered an area I need to improve. Before this, the longest number of consecutive days I had lived with a woman romantically was two nights. I'm accustomed to spending time with women–mostly for sex–punctuated with time alone to recharge and nourish my introverted nature. I've never lived with a girl or FWB for an extended time.
Living five nights in a row with this girl set a new personal record. It was out of my comfort zone and made me notice something: I offered my time and energy even when I didn't feel like it. This had the effect of wearing me down and making me lethargic, grumpy, and anxious. In retrospect, I should've set clearer boundaries and carved out time for myself, even if just to play video games or go on a run. But I was overly concerned with how she'd feel if I didn't spend time with her.
I'm grateful for the experience for this lesson alone, because I'll try not to make the same mistake again. This lesson is a timely one because I want to have deeper open relationships with women as opposed to the pump and dump, notch chasing style of daygame I practiced in my 20s.
Between train and plane rides, I finally got around to reading Pimp by Iceberg Slim, which was a darkly humorous read peppered with some inner game wisdom. Robert Beck has a real way with words. I share some notable passages below:
Inner Game
Always remember whether you be a sucker or hustler in the world out there, you've got that vital edge if you can iron-clad your feelings. I picture the human mind as a movie screen. If you're a dopey sucker, you'll just sit and watch all kinds of mindwrecking, damn fool movies on that screen. There's no reason except a stupid one for anybody to project on that screen anything that will worry him or dull that vital edge. After all, we are the absolute bosses of that whole theatre and show in our minds. We even write the script. So always write positive, dynamic scripts and show only the best movies for you on that screen whether you are a pimp or a priest.
In a pimp's life, yesterday means nothing. It's how you are doing today.
Any good pimp is his own best company. His inner-life is so rich with cunning and scheming to out-think his whores.
A good pimp doesn't get paid for screwing. He gets his pay-off for always having the right thing to say to a whore right on lightning tap.
No con misses his freedom more than a pimp. His senses are addicted to silky living.
I also randomly picked up my first P. G. Wodehouse novella largely due to the eye candy cover and him being English. I enjoyed his writing style and sense of humor. This won't be my last.
I'm leaving India at the right time. Two months of domestication has renewed my thirst for adventure.
“No more small towns for me. I was going to the city to get my degree in pimping.”
― Iceberg Slim